I have several friends who have all hit a point in their marriages where they ended in a divorce or are about to. Let’s take friend one. She was on her second marriage. The husband had begun to withdraw. He was exploring other people but was incapable of communicating the need. Personal time diminished and a chasm grew. She finally stood up for herself and decided it was time for a divorce because she couldn’t take it any more. Now the husband is attempting to force is life back into hers and refusing to grant the divorce.
Friend two has also had a marriage. Like friend one the husband went out and had affairs. Thought he was being clever in hiding his actions. She knew about it. She was willing to stick it out for the kids, despite the severe destruction of communication. Fortunately he finally came to his senses and realized he needed a divorce, which she gladly accepted and granted. Unfortunately it has left her with an inability to trust anyone for a long term relation.
Friend three is not married. However friend three is the other woman in someone else’s marriage. She remains hopeful that the man she thinks she loves will leave his wife to be with her. Despite the fact that he drives her nuts and leaves her hanging constantly. Even worse, she met a great guy who loved her to no end. Initially she was interested in him, but then the married guy came back into her life and she distanced herself from the new guy. Sadly she has recently lost the man who really became a safe pillar for her, because she claimed she was being truthful when in reality she wasn’t. Several of her friends have attempted to get her to wake up.
Friend four has never been married but is reluctant because of how people tend to get frustrated with living up to his level. He is full of intelligence. He is creative. He is capable of cooking amazing meals. People really like him for his ability to remain calm. He is not a mess. He felt like there have been a couple of times in life where he may have met the right girl, but they ended up fizzling out either by jealousy, or infidelity of their part or because they couldn’t keep up with his ability to communicate. He remains hopeful that he’ll find someone he can share with.
The one thing I’ve noticed is that communication ends up being a real key to getting things done. What people don’t tend to realize is that on the web or in digital format lots communication is mangled. People have a tendency to be overly mean or terse if they’re not facing that person. Why is it that people have so much difficulty of communication in relationships? I don’t know. But I do know that lyrics I wrote yesterday for a new song ended up hitting home with a bunch of people that I have bounced them off of.
Being I’m a little moody right now, I’m going to flow with a tune called Your Steps Alone. The jazzy nature seems to fit the vibe of communication right now for me. The main thing in all of this is that you can not predict how someone else will act or react. You bring actions upon yourself by the company you keep. That is Your Step Alone. The question is, how are you doing with getting to the communication that keeps things real for you? Do you feel more connection based on social networking? Do you feel better when actually interacting with people face to face?
I think Sokoband has presented a wandering tune that sums up in instrumental terms the vibe of being true to yourself and remaining hopeful that others will do the same. On a twist of the old adage, play unto others and you’d like them to play unto you.