It’s a special Sunday for that special breed of person’s known as mom. That’s right there’s a day dedicated to half the couple that made you. The one who bore you for roughly 9 long months, then likely went through great pains to kick you out of your warm beginnings cause you were causing pain. I know one such woman about to go through that process in the very near future, not quite a mom yet, but will be soon. I also know a mom in particular that had to deal with me.
The concept of writing songs is often compared to having kids. Clueless would be a good way to describe my understanding of why. I’ve never had a kid with anyone that I’m aware of. I’d have to clarify that to being the concept of co-writing a song would make a better comparison. See when I write a song myself it’s more of a journey, an exploration. When I’m co-writing there’s a lot of push and pull, give and take. It’s a different process. I’m crediting today’s Single of the Day choice to Marc-Allen Barnette, however, I’m the co-writer on this song.
I wanted a change of pace and decided it would a wise choice to write a country style song with a Nashville based songwriter. I had met Marc-Allen through a JPF (Just Plain Folks) meeting and spoke with him about co-writing a song. We didn’t know much about each other and setting up the situation was fairly easy. The day of the appointment was another story. Marc-Allen being from Nashville had gotten lost somehow on his way to my studio in Los Angeles. I was about to give up when he was well over an hour late.
Eventually I had gotten an e-mail from his surrogate home in Orange County. He had forgotten to bring my number and had issues with the directions. Eventually he showed up and we sat down to put together a song around a title idea I had. “I Can’t Teach My Heart To Hate You” was actually twist on a line that a fan of mine had on their myspace page. I think I had misread what it said and I thought wow, that’s a great idea for a country song. Actually, if done right it could work in any genre I think – but then I’m being optimistic for a title.
I had this concept going between two people. I had the hook. But I didn’t want to flesh it out too much before Marc-Allen showed up. I wanted equal input on the song, it was to be a co-write after all. As we got to chatting some of the imagery changed a bit. We started working on making it a bit more universal in nature. We each thought of ideas to provide memories of a relationship and moments when things go wrong. Once we got the words tightened up we set to work on putting the chorus together with some chords and a melody. Then we built around that. It was a bit different for me and I know some of what I brought to the table was different for Marc-Allen. Because I have a pretty deep knowledge of chords, I injected a diminished chord into the line “lead only to bitterness”.
It’s little things you fight for like that where you want something and the other person is having trouble getting their mind around it. Eventually you compromise or get your way and it brings a new song to life. Marc-Allen and I demo’d the song right then and there. It’s way you’re hearing right now with him singing and me doing the music.
How does this relate to moms? Great question. You see, I’m no mom, but I believe that very few people could ever actually hate their mom. My connection is the title, who in their right mind could ever teach their heart to hate their mom? Not to mention that your mom had frustrating times with you in nurturing you into the person you are today. I’m betting there are times when a mom wonders what the hell they were doing bringing a kid into the world. By the same token I’m betting most mom’s can teach their heart to hate their kids.
I’m pretty happy that you took time out of your day to read this, but if you’re hitting this point, don’t you think it’s time to call your mom or take her to brunch? I’m not near my mom today, but I’ve made my call. I’ve sent my card. She’s a person I could never hate with my heart. How about you. What are you doing for your mom?