Limbo.
Waiting.
Wondering.
Lost is an appropriate word when describing what it’s like to have something/someone beyond your control making decisions that effect you. I suppose the same could be said for those that affect you as well, only they shouldn’t be in control when the affect you. Promises made. Promises broken. Communication unfunctional (yes, I made up unfunctional, get over it).
In speaking with a long time friend of mine he had a very interesting thing to say. Let me preface this by noting that I like to be a very positive person. He said “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone so down on their luck as you.” I had to think about that for a moment. It struck me as quite odd for someone to say that too me until he listed out all the things that really haven’t been going to good in the past couple of months.
Coming off a really nice break from music, Los Angeles, and enjoying some time with my family and seeing less tainted parts of the country, I guess I was happy to not think about the things that should be forefront in my brain. Focus on the good, or at least the good that I can control and create; that’s what I do.
As I’ve mentioned in the past several days, I cannot hold my breath on what’s going on. But I do think that it’s finally seeping into effecting my reaching my goal of getting 40 songs written. I’m at 37 and for the past couple of days it’s actually been the furthest thing from my mind. I’m not blocked, I’m probably depressed. Though if this is depressed, then I’m oddly cheery about it.
The desert. It’s a perfect metaphor for being alone. Perfect for lost. Perfect for postponed by things beyond your control. It would be nice to be out of the rain. Though rain in the desert is probably the best thing you have at your disposal. Lyrically there’s a lot to the image that it sets up. I see the parallel to the journey I’ve been through in the past 10 months. That image is likely a result of a real trip the lyricist actually took. Sunburns, horses, hiking, trails, desert, rain, etc… it’s all part of exploring the west and one’s self.
America the band consisted of some pretty powerful writers and performers: Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young are names I’ve seen. I don’t know enough to know if they’re all in or part of the band. The names I saw on the current website don’t seem to suggest any of those. Either way, this is a classic that I’m aware of. It was a number one hit some time ago in an era since forgotten – or so I’m told. I like the story of it. I like the vibe of it. A gambling man would say you do to, especially if you got this far into the post. Don’t own it? Get it!
(** Disclaimer: If America’s label decides to send me to the desert on a horse, I’ll have to dry the audio to oblivion from the server. The post will remain to show my descent. **)